Thursday, May 19, 2005
Staring dead at the MSN window..
Y are we quarreling?
Was it me?
Did i said something wrong?
Yup. It was me. Again. Forever me.
Nope. Its not my fault. She hurt me first.
That statement flash through my mind.
Wat bullshit.. R u a kid? Childish.. Get a life..
Ya. I'm no longer a kid. I should be matured by now.
What was i thinking? Blaming her and not me.
Was it the bad attitude? Was i complacent of having her? Was i taking advantage of her?
I dunno.. no idea.. Looks like it.. no.. It is.. everyting is true..
Promise to myself to love her and take care of her..
They seem to come and go..
What was that suppose to mean?
Love her at times and no feeling for her during the remaining time?
Nope..
Sick and tired?
Nope..
Den wat?
I dunno..
That is not an answer.. But i have no idea how to explain.. I love her all the time.. But y didn't i show it all the time?
I dunno..
I koe she will not leave me.. that is wat she said..
She promised me..
But how long can tolerate u?
I koe she can..
R u sure?
ehhh.. no..
Are u afraid?
yes yes..
The thought of her leaving me was really bad.. miserable.. terrible.. disaster..
My heart ache.. Fear grows and thought of stopping..
Fear of?
She leaving me..
Do i miss her?
Yes.. Miss her very much..
Do i love her?
Yes.. Love her very much..
Do i need her in my life?
Definitely..
Do i pamper her?
Yes i do.. But she is saying NO.. y?
Do i dote her?
Very much.. But she disagree.. y?
Do i give in to her?
Sometimes.. Y not all the time?
Do i humour her?
Yes.. But she is not feeling it.. y?
Does she love u?
OF COz..
Does she miss u?
Everytime..
Does she need u?
Yes she do..
Does she pamper u?
Definitely..
Does she dote u?
Yes yes..
Does she give in to u?
Yup..
Does she humour u?
All the time..
Y can she do it and u can't?
She can tolertate all ur shit and u can't? y?
She is always there for u.. R u?
She express her feelings for u everytime and wat r u doing? thinking tat it is a MUST?
R u stupid? No no no.. U r stupid the stupidest fool on EARTH..
Y is there droplets of water running down my cheek?
Nope.. its not water.. it is tears..
Y is it flowing? I can neither stop nor control it..
Now i know.. They are flowing for her..
Look at all the sacrifices tat she have done for u..
They are flowing for the suffering she suffered..
I smile with her looks flashing though my mind.. how sweet and beautiful is when she smiles at me..
It breaks my heart to see tears racing down her tender cheek..
I do not wan that to happen..
I don't wan to be the stupidest idiot on earth..
I don't wan to live and regret not treating her well..
I don't wan her to leave me..
I don't wan her to stop loving me..
I don't wan any of those..
I love u darling.. Sorry for all the shit i have given to u.. *sobz*
posted @ 6:07 PM
Tuesday, May 03, 2005
Have you ever wondered what I was wondering?
Whenever you say words that hurts
I never blame you for anything
I blame it for my cause of the fight
You always said you're kidding
But that moment you kid, hurt me
But you never realised it until I spelt everythings out
Can't you just do something for me?
Just once, to make me happy
Then I won't pester you anymore
For such silly issues
I'm sick
I'm tired
I'm sick and tired when bad things happened wrongly repeatedly
Why?
I thought to myself
posted @ 5:42 PM